February 27, 2008

MY NEW DONKEY SANDRO


Over the last few days, I've been informed on that I am now the proud owner of a Donkey named Sandro, who dreams and waits to carry me through Naples, Italy.



Here's a copy of the 3 messages I've received from him. What a peotic mule:

HEE HAW! HEE HAW! HEE HAAAW! DEAR BRIAN, I'M VERY GLAD TO THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR VERY PLEASANT FRIENDSHIP WITH MY BEST BRAYS! HEE HAW! HEE HAW! HEE HAAAW!


Dear friend,
don't forget - Please! that United Europe is waiting for You. Don't forget that Italy is waiting for You! Above all, don't forget that You have an original italian donkey in Italy: me! HEE HAAAW! Yes, You are my Master! A donkey in Naples is waiting for You! Have You seen Naples? Naples is in south-Italy and is both the capital city of the Campania region and of the Province of Naples. It's name is <<>>. Its ancient name was <<>>: <<>> is the meaning of <<>>. Its metropolitan area is the second most populated area in Italy and one of the largest in Europe. It is located between the volcano Vesuvio and a gulf, the Gulf of Naples: in Naples You could visit both a wonderful volcano and some wonderful sea-shores. The city itself in the central area has a population of around 1 million, the inhabitants are known as " napoletani" or poetically " partenopei ". It is rich in historical, artistic and cultural traditions and gastronomy. In Naples You could eat: panzarotti; pizza; spaghetti con le cozze; aragosta (special fresh lobster); gnocchi alla sorrentina; pizzette di cicinielli; mozzarella; salciccia con i friarielli; sfogliatelle; babĂ ; etc. . In Naples You could drink: Lacryma Christi special wine; red or white wine of Vesuvio; limoncello. The Historic Centre of Naples is listed by United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (U. N. E. S. C. O.) as a World Heritage Site. In Naples are: very old castles; very old churches; very old palaces and museums; big public gardens. Between 1266 and 1861, Naples was the capital of the Kingdom of Naples (later of the Two Sicilies). This history, coupled with its size, has given Naples the unofficial status of being the capital of the Italian south. In the modern day, the city is served by Naples International Airport of "Capodichino". Well, i'm very glad to give You a possibility: if You want visit Naples riding an original neapoletan donkey, You can ride me. I'm your own donkey! I'm really a donkey! I'm really a ass! I'm really an equus asinus! Besides, i'm very well domesticated: i can both carry and speak in italian language and in english language. I'm Sandro the donkey! I'm very popular here in Naples for giving funny rides on my back to tourists. I can carry peoples through sea-shores and public gardens. By the way, i can carry till 100 kilograms for a hour and half (slowly). My dear, i should be very glad to carry You. I'm waiting for You and for your hay! By the way, the followings are some informations about me:
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Mammalia
Order: Perissodactyla
Family: Equidae
Genus: Equus
Subgenus: Asinus
Species: Equus asinus neapolitanus
Name: Sandro
Surname: Catalfamo
HEE HAW! HEE HAW! HEE HAW! I'm waiting for You! HEE HAW! HEE HAW! HEE HAAAW! With my best brays!

Naples, February 24 2008 Your own donkey Sandro.


Dear friend,
i dreamt yesterday night that You - Looking out for new experiences! - came by plane in south-Italy for holiday. You was in south-Italy with a very nice girl. Well, a tour operator offered You a hunting license: precisely, the mentioned tour operator gave You the permission for hunting me. I was a big animal! I dreamt that You had a very nice khaki suit, a safari jacket, a pith elmeth and a rifle 300 Winchester Magnum. I dreamt You - Very beautiful hunter! - beginninig the expedition, the big-game, in the wild nature of south-Italy: You was very enthusiastic! All at once, You saw me near a brook and so aimed your rifle: i detected a presence and so i saw You too. We looked at each other: a great surge of adrenalin was in You! You aimed again and fired! A lightning strike! A perfect strike! You was the winner! A lot of persons rushed and celebrated your win! Your girl took some photographs of You: You assumed a pose by putting one of your feet on my head; You assumed a pose by sitting on my back and holding my head. YOU WAS GREAT! So, You came back to your land with my skin as a trophy. And i was your bedside skin rug! What do You think about this? Greetings from Naples.

Naples, February 26 2008 Your loyal donkey Sandro.




Sandro's own myspace page

1 comment:

Dominic Johnson said...

I'M ENJOYING THE BURGEONING SANDRO SAGA.
ONWARDS AND UPWARDS.
DOMINIC
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