January 18, 2010

Obama RAPED me!


OK, the other night, I dreamt that the president raped me. Really. Looking back now, it's seems funny, but at the time it was one of those very scary nightmares that still scares you after you wake up. Now before I recount, let me just say that this was something I truly did dream, but it was only a dream, and while I am left wondering why my unconscious mind would decide to deliver this ridiculous scenario in my sleep, I dont actually have rape fantasies. Dreams aside, I'm neither afraid of Obama, nor very supportive of him for that matter, and simply wish to disclose one of my most outrageous nightmares EVER.

I dreamt that I had just come home alone from a party and noticed that I began slipping in and out of conscious. I thought "this is weird, I think someone slipped something into my drink" and then passed out again. I guess some time later I came to, and to my horror, saw the president himself violating me. Yes, raping me. the scariest part was the angry and excited look on his face as he pinned me down and had his way, rather violently. Terrified and stunned, I lost conscious again. When I next awoke in the morning, he was gone, I was alone again, and wondered if it was just a nightmare, but I was naked and in pain (down there). Anxious and uncertain if it was in fact Mr. Obama or some creepy anal sleepwalking episode, I got dressed and went to the local bakery/deli to get some breakfast. At the register I told my friend behind the counter that I think I was raped by the President last night. He burst out laughing and said "You're full of shit, that's completely impossible! I dont think he's even in New York" But at that moment, Obama himself walks into the bakery with his entourage. Everyone in the store went into a frenzy. 'OMG it's Obama!' OBAMA!!! everyone starts shouting. Nervous my heart racing I turn away and my jerk friend shouts "HEY OBAMA! My friend Brian here, says that you RAPED HIM last night!" Everyone in the store freezes. Shocked, Obama turns around looks right me. No one says a word. Then he walks up to us and while staring sternly at me he says to me friend "Yes, I raped him. And I enjoyed it. And there's NOTHING that anyone is going to do about it!" and as he says this last line he reaches over and pinches my cheek like your grandmother would do. As soon as he touches me, I'm filled with terror and completely regret saying anything about this as I realize my life is now in danger... Obama storms out and shortly after I leave, everyone staring me all confused. Sure enough later that day I find out my friend behind the counter has disappeared and I'm next. I spend the rest of the nightmare running and hiding from the Secret Service. I know there's no escape, Obama will get away with this....

I wake up still terrified and my first instinct is to jump out of bed and run to the door to make sure its still locked. It took me a couple minutes laying in bed to calm down and accept that this was only a figment of my twisted unconscious imagination...


Photo taken a year ago... (shudder)


I'm not republican, nor do I feel very democratic. In general I don't really like politics, but oddly enough, this isn't the only time I have dreamt about politicians in a sorta sexual way. A few years ago I had a lusty dream about Condoleeza Rice and wrote her letter about it.

5 comments:

Ray Avito said...

I usually like the fact that my dreams are pretty realistic but something like that would definitely be unnerving, to say the least.

karol said...

wow...

kirk or kirkella said...

this has the makings of a really controversial animated short film.

Jessica Druck said...

hmm...condoleezza or Obama not so much. Now Bill Clinton in his day...that's a dream to be had. Just sayin.

http://jessicadruck.blogspot.com

dirtycowgirl said...

At least it wasn't Reagan.